2020: the Year that Keeps on Giving

Despite the Crazy,  here is a snapshot of what 2020 has given our family this year:

Less Anxiety and Stress. Ironically, despite the pandemic, this year has been my healthiest- physically and mentally in a long time.  (Besides the anxiety about an international adoption during a pandemic-which I will touch on later.) The slower schedule, lack of driving, extra time in nature, and some extended breaks from the news and social media have really helped to calm my nervous system. It has been good for our whole family. 

More time with Mr. H. Since he is now full time working from home, it has been nice to see him at lunch and the occasional afternoon walk. Just having another grown-up home all day with me has also lowered my own stress levels. It was definitely an adjustment and there are lots of interruptions, but it has worked well. 

Gratitude for a Stable Job. We are extra thankful this year that B does have a job and that job is secure. He has grown a lot at work as a manager of many employees. He is a great communicator and encourager for them. 

Nature Therapy. We have spent an incredible amount of time in nature this year. We planted flowers and an herb garden. We discovered new hiking trails in the Metroplex. (Mineral Wells and Bob Jones Nature Center are fantastic!)  We took countless family picnics and bike rides. We went camping multiple times (The Website hipcamp.com is so fun to use!)

Bible Studies with Friends

Thanks to video chats, I was able to have much needed Mom time. We learned about training our minds away from of toxic thought patterns in "Get Out of Your Head." (Just in time for Covid) Later this year we studied "On Bended Knee: Praying like Prophets, Warriors, and Kings" which the Lord used to speak to each of us. 

100% Homeschooling Our school year looked different without all of the wonderful outside classes I have come to rely on as a homeschooler. But we enjoyed the slower pace with my Preschooler, 2nd grader and 4th grader. We loved traveling "Around the World with Picture Books" this semester. Our nightly read-aloud time is precious to us. We explored the world of the "Chronicles of Narina", learned along with "All of a Kind Family" and laughed along with the "Vanderbeekers." We also dove into some great interactive family Bible Studies by "Not Consumed". I was also able to give some friends who suddenly found themselves homeschooling this year some direction. I wrote a blog with some homeschooling resources we have experience with. 

Our Fact Gobbler. #1 has his nose constantly in a book. He loves historical fiction. He gobbles up facts like candy.  One of his favorite gifts for Christmas is an Encyclopedia. He has a love for Ocean animals and is an aspiring Marine Biologist. One big thing we worked on this year was memorizing multiplication facts. He is still highly energetic and is a big helper around the house with the right incentive. 

Our Creative One. #2 is constantly creating something out of cardboard (thanks Amazon), tape, and string. He is quite the designer/builder/engineer. He is very compassionate and a big help with his younger siblings. He is a right-brained learner and we have discovered "Snap Words" which have been a big help to kickstart his reading skills. His favorite books to read aloud are Mo Willems' "Elephant and Piggie" series. 

Our Musician. #3 has a love for guitars and violins and is always watching worship videos on Youtube (Phil Wickham is her fav). She can sing each and every word. She has picked up a lot of her alphabet and memorized her favorite books. Her favorite color is yellow and favorite food by far is a banana. She has really grown up a lot this year in her language skills, emotional, and physical development. She even learned how to ride a bike without training wheels!

An Epic Trip. Of course 2020 wouldn't be complete without an epic trip to Taiwan that lasted for one whole month, 2 weeks of which were spent in complete and total quarantine with a 5 year old. There was some extra stress and anxiety leading up to this one for sure. We survived quarantine somehow and now it seems all like a dream: tearfully saying goodbye to my big boys, the empty flights, the phones being tracked, the hand sanitizer, the supplement pile, the weird feeling of being locked up.  What a faith building time this is for anyone in an international adoption! BUT God did provide the perfect place for us to stay and we are so thankful for the Grandma's who took excellent care of our big boys while we were away. We had a wonderful time exploring the country for a week. We loved getting to spend time with J showing her her beautiful country of origin. We visited the children's amusement parks, children's museums, and took a tour of the mountains of Yangmingshan National Park. The last week was spent in the bonding process with our new son.  

Learning Chinese. We have a fabulous friend who spent many months this year giving us Chinese lessons as a family. We have learned so much! We know numbers, colors, animals, fruits, foods, greetings, sentence structure, and children's songs. It has helped so much in he transition with our new son! 

A New Son. And last, but most importantly, In 2020 God gave us a new son. We spent most of the year Skyping with him once a month and sending him care packages. In November we finally got to meet face to face and he joined our family!  It was so precious getting to see the two birth siblings meet for the first time and become a part of the same family. What a gift. He has adjusted really well so far and we loved being together as a family of 6 for Christmas. He is really enjoying following his big brothers around being their shadow. He has grieved over the loss of his foster family in Taiwan, but he is easily bonging to us because of how well they cared for him. He is 4 years old and clever, creative, and silly. He fits right in. He is also teaching us a lot of Chinese!

Thank you 2020 for all you have given us this year. 

The good, the bad, the crazy. The perspective. God is good and we are thankful.

 

Homeschooling

This blog is taken from an email to a friend who asked me to share my Homeschool experiences and resources as she explores this vast new world.  So if you are a Homeschool Newbie like her, keep reading on! If you are a Veteran, you may enjoy skipping to the resource list at the end to check out what we’ve been up to :)

For future reference...S is a current 3rd grader and J is a current 1st grader.

 Hi Friend!

 I have been collecting some resources for you this week! There is so much out there it can be overwhelming. I just tried to pick things that I have experience with or have researched a lot in the last 4 years of homeschooling. Homeschooling looks different for every family and there are SO Many different teaching philosophies out there. You have to figure out what you believe about learning and to look at how your children learn best. My two boys learn very differently and I have learned different ways to teach them.

 My goal is for them to love to learn. I don't push them with too much work or work they are not ready for but I do want them to be challenged a bit. I give them plenty of time to learn through playing. I value learning through real world experiences, through nature, and through good quality literature. So when I choose curriculum, I look for ones that match my philosophy and match the way each child learns. I want their curriculum to be one that they enjoy and can feel confident doing. It's also important to choose ones that I enjoy teaching and that I can practically fit into everyday life!

 I lean towards literature based curriculum and ones that don't use have too much "busy work." I have always only focused on teaching reading and writing and math through curriculum and all the other subjects like History and Science come from the books we read or life experiences. My two boys are on two different levels in Reading, Writing, and Math so they have separate lessons, but all the other subjects they can learn together and learn from each other. I have used a wide variety of curriculum over the years. They have also taken classes like Science, Art, Drawing, Spanish, Typing, PE, etc at a private school nearby that offers classes for homeschoolers.

A Homeschooling schedule looks very different from a public school schedule. Currently we get our book work done in about 1-2 hours a day (Reading/Writing and Math curriculum) with some breaks in between. Then we read a special book together for another hour and sometimes do some activities to go along with the book. So we are done in 2-3 hours while kids are at school for 7 hours a day! We also take Fridays off! Most homeschool curriculums will tell you what grade level they are designed for, which is how I know what they should master in each grade level. I also used to teach in the public schools, so I have a general idea already of what each grade level is supposed to learn. As they get older, I expect their time doing school work to increase with each year.

As you look through different curriculum's online, I would always suggest looking at the sample pages. That has always helped me to decide if it is one that we like. You can also search YouTube with detailed reviews of almost any curriculum that you find. I have some at home you are also welcome to look through!

Many curriculum and textbooks can be bought for a cheaper price if they are used. There are many Facebook groups for this. For my literature based curriculum, I don't buy every single book needed, but use the library very often!

 Hopefully this is helpful! Please let me know if you have any questions as you dig deep into the homeschool world!

Homeschooling Resources

My Number One book Choice is "Teaching from Rest" by Sarah Mackenzie. A Must read to start your year at peace! readaloudrevival.com/rest/

This is a popular convention that I have attended and l learned so much from.
Right now it's all online with access to all of the sessions for only $25. So valuable!

greathomeschoolconventions.com/tracks/homeschool-help-desk  

Homeschool philosophy quiz: 

eclectic-homeschool.com/homeschool-philosophies-quiz/ 

The best place to buy new homeschool curriculum.Good prices and great place to shop and browse and they have sample pages of almost all curriculum too.

rainbowresource.com/

The best place to find detailed reviews of each curriculum

cathyduffyreviews.com/

Helpful Blogs/Podcasts:

homeschooling.mom/homeschool-solutions-show 

simplehomeschool.net/

readaloudrevival.com

confessionsofahomeschooler.com

homeschoolcreations.com

Free Online Curriculum

allinonehomeschool.com

amblesideonline.com

Curriculum Companies:

Multiple Subjects available :

Masterbooks: I really like textbooks from this company. Each subject is a separate textbook. 
They are simple, easy to use, and children can do them pretty independently.

**We have used them for Math and Language Arts for S for a couple years. Really like the Math!!

masterbooks.com/homeschool-curriculum  

Five in a Row: Uses literature to teach language arts, science, history, and art lessons. 

**We loved this one for a couple years! Such great book choices!

fiveinarow.com/five-in-a-row/  

My Father's World: In K-2 grades they combine subjects into one curriculum. Very hands on and literature based.
In the older grades they offer History and Geography. 

**I LOVE the Kindergarten curriculum. Have used it for both boys and probably for the two little ones coming up!

mfwbooks.com  

Good and Beautiful: Lots of subjects offered. Big focus on art and poetry.
It requires a lot of time with the parent to complete a lesson.

**We're doing one of their Science Unit studies this year because I have a kid obsessed with Marine Biology!
**I tried the language arts with S and it was nice, but didn't work for us.
**Math looks very hand on

goodandbeautiful.com/  

  

Reading/Writing/Language Arts Curriculum

Explode the Code: Great work book to practice reading, writing, and spelling skills.

**We are currently using with J and he is doing well. 

rainbowresource.com/category/822/Explode-the-Code.html

Snapwords: Picture based sightwords. Great for right-brained and visual learners.

**This has been to key to unlocking J's reading ability!

child1st.com

All about reading & All about Spelling: Phonics based, Hands on for kids,
Easy to follow teacher's manual, lots of repetition.
Very popular.

**We are using Level One currently with J but not sure if it matches his learning style.
I really like the readers included and the letter tiles.

allaboutlearningpress.com/all-about-reading/

Nessy Online Games: Great for visual learners and struggling readers, especially for dyslexia.

**This has helped J this past year. 

nessy.com/us/products/

Handwriting without Tears: Simple way to teach handwriting skills.

**We've used it for both boys and enjoyed it.

lwtears.com

Grammar Galaxy: Story based Language Arts program that seems like a lot of fun!

**We're trying it out this year for S to help with his motivation to write and learn grammar!

grammargalaxybooks.com

IEW-Institute for Excellence in Writing: Video based writing program, geared for 3rd grade and up.
Also has fun grammar workbooks.

**I have been looking into this one for S next year. 

IEW.com

Brave Writer: Guides to teach writing and grammar to children building their confidence.

**Also looking into this one next year for S!

bravewriter.com

Math

Masterbooks: Already mentioned but it is by far my favorite for Math.

(However, Level one was too simple and repetitive. Level 2 and beyond are great!)

Singapore Math: Math is explained very well. Hands on plus good work books. Very popular.

**I really like the Kindergarten level books and am currently using the 1st grade level with J 

singaporemath.com/

Life of Fred: Funny and Engaging Math learned through a story.
** We have gone through the first several books and had a lot of fun with them!
www.lifeoffred.uniquemath.com/

Math-U-See: Hands on Math, Video Based program.
Also very popular, especially with struggling learners.
**We bought the manipulatives used and use them a lot with our other curriculum. They are gera

https://www.mathusee.com/

Right Start Math: Game based Math.

rightstartmath.com/

Beast Academy: Comic book style math. Very challenging, geared toward gifted learners.
Also has an online version.
beastacademy.com

History & Geography

The Peaceful Press: Literature and project based History Lessons. Includes Bible too.

**We loved using this to learn about American History while reading the Little House on the Prairie series and plan on using it for World History

thepeacefulpreschool.com

Beautiful Feet Books: Literature Based History Studies

**I just purchased one study to use soon! Great book choices.

Bfbooks.com

Give Your Child the World: a book with a long list of books from every continent in the world!
Also has online activities to go along. 
simplehomeschool.net/give-your-child-the-world/

Great Historical Book Series that really make kids interested in History!

Magic Tree House.com

Imagination Station

Ranger in Time

Bible

Not Consumed: Great Bible Study Devotionals for kids.
Also have a nice looking curriculum to study hymns & music and one about missionaries.

**We're about to start one of the devotionals.

notconsumed.com/    

Thinking Kids Press: Nice resources for studying the Bible together.

**I like using the lapbooks especially

thinkingkidspress.com

New City Catechism: great app to learn catechism (Bible Truths) put to music.

newcitycatechism.com

Miscelleneous

Piano Lessons: All Online video lessons, very affordable, and a lot of fun!

**S had been doing this the last year independently

Hoffmanacademy.com

Squilt Music Appreciation- Live Music classes focused on composers, musical time periods, holidays. **We just signed up and look forward to trying it! 

squiltmusic.com

Eye Can Learn: Eye exercises to help with reading abilities and attention disorders. 

eyecanlearn.com/

**S did professional Vision Therapy for a year with exercises very similar to these.
J is now benefiting from eye exercises too.

Dr. Jean Songs: These are pure Gold for Pre-K-1st grade especially.
Great for learning Letter Sounds, Days of the Week, Counting, & lots of silly songs
**I used these all the time as a classroom teacher and when my boys were younger!
Dr.Jean You Tube Channel

💌ENJOY the Journey! 😃

Quarantine Cocooning

Quarantine isn’t new to my family. Two years ago when we adopted our daughter, we took about 6-8 months to quarantine ourselves away from the world. We needed to keep her world small. We kept her from contact with anyone outside the five of us in our family. We watched church online. We had food delivered. We restricted her physical contact with others. Sound familiar??

But back then, we had a much nicer word for it...

Cocooning

A caterpillar needs time to hide in it’s miraculous chrysalis so it can grow and transform before it faces the world, and so did our daughter. So we “cocooned.” Our daughter needed to be taught who her new & true parents were. She needed her brain physically rewired to learn:

“Mommy and Daddy are the ones who are to care for me.”
“Mommy and Daddy are the ones I run to for comfort.”
“They are the ones with authority over my life.”
“They hold a special place in my life that no one else can.”

She grew up in a group home, such a loving and caring group home that I hesitate to call it an orphanage. But God designed babies to grow up with the one on one care of a Mommy and Daddy, not groups of caregivers with groups of babies.

She was used to getting her needs met by many different adults and she brought those tendencies into her relationship with us going up to total strangers, flashing a cute smile and looking to them for special attention and care. She would look for them to talk sweetly to her, go up and sit in their laps, reach out for them to hold her and pick her up. Showing “indiscriminate affection” as they call it, an unhealthy behavior very common in children raised in a group home.

Before she interacted with the world, she needed to develop the attachment to us that she missed out on as an infant.  A secure attachment with us lays the groundwork for healthy relationships in her future. A secure attachment is the foundation for the rest of her development-physical,emotional, mental. She needed that relationship with us to be strong before she could flourish. 

And so we cocooned.

We spoon fed her. We bottle fed her. (Yes, at 3 years old). We looked her in the eyes. We sang and rocked and sang and rocked some more. We did playdough with her. We held her hand and walked around the house. We put her in a carrier to walk around the world. She was emotional and full of fear because her world completely changed. It was exhausting and time consuming and lonely and hard.

But each time we did these things a new pathway was formed in her brain-with each meal, with each snuggle, with each song-the pathway in her brain got deeper and deeper. The brain knowledge would turn into heart knowledge:

”Yes, this is my Mom and Dad. They Care for me. They love me. I can trust them.”

There were also Pathways that formed in our own brains, telling us that yes, this sweet child who's needs I have met over and over again is really mine. This child whom I have looked into the eyes of and sang and rocked continuously must be special to my heart. I know many people fear coming into adoption because they believe they could never love another child like their own. And it's true. You cannot love a child who is a stranger like your own. But the beautiful thing that happens when you build these pathways in your brain, this emotional attachment is that THEY BECOME YOUR OWN. This child who was a stranger to our family  now our daughter. OUR daughter.

And I realized that this time of Quarantine we find ourselves in, that the whole world finds itself in could really be made into a beautiful time of …

Cocooning.

If we don’t let it slip by this can be a time to train our hearts and minds to remember

Our true Father
Our Caregiver
Our Comforter
Our Keeper
Our God

For those who trust in Christ as their Savior, we have been legally adopted by God through the sacrifice of his blood. He is our legal and true Abba father.  The one who cares for our needs. The One who gives us comfort and security. The one who loves us immeasurably and we can trust with everything in us.

While we cocoon, He is rewiring our brains and hearts.. 

When He meets our needs day by day our mind learns and relearns over and over again that indeed we can trust him. When He brings up peace through reading His Word we know he is the one we can run to for comfort. When He brings conviction to our heart, we learn that He has authority over our lives. When he meets us in times of worship, we see clearly how He holds a sacred place in our life that no one or nothing else can. Oh for Grace to trust Him more…

“This is my God. He cares for Me. He loves me. I can trust Him."

There were times where we thought we were making progress bonding with our daughter so we would bring her somewhere in public. But then she would reach up to a stranger, her little hands signaling, “Pick me up, pick me up!” And our heart would break. In those moments she reached out to others it felt almost as if she was…

Cheating on us.

She was flirting with the world around her, with complete strangers that have never once truly showed her love and care.And I understood then what God means when he says He jealously yearns for His children. We had worked SO HARD. So so hard to show her, teach her, display to her how much we loved and cared for her. We showed her over and over and yet she still chose to go back to her old ways of seeking comfort and attention from the outside world. She would forget that we were the ones with the title of Mom and Dad and not anyone else. And so we would take another step back and continue to cocoon.

And I can see so many ways that we (myself included) have also forgotten who our True Father is.  The Lord has shown us over and over again how he care for us, yet we go back to our old ways and old lives. We have run away from him and towards anything and everything else to give us the care and attention we crave.

We have cheated on Him
Yet He is jealous for us.

And so here we are in this time of quarantine, but a quarantine can be used as a time of cocooning.  He has striped away all these things we were running to instead of him. It's all gone- our busy schedules, our perfect plans, our financial stability, our confidence in our health, our time with friends, and even our time in church. The things of this earth are fleeting and unsecured and we won't flourish if we keep depending on these things.

We are emotional, fearful, and exhausted but He is there. Now it’s just time with us and Him.  (That is, if we put down our phones.) There is nothing left in this world we can run to to say “pick me up, pick me up!” because HE wants to be the one to pick us up, He wants is our only secure place to run to nothing else in this world. Because a close and secure connection with Him is the only way we will flourish.

Two years later, how is our daughter doing? She clearly knows who her Mommy and Daddy are. She runs to us when she is fearful. She runs to us to get her needs met. She is hesitant to go to unfamiliar places without us. And she does not reach up to total strangers anymore. We still have work to do to build attachment, it’s a work in progress and always will be. But our relationship is stronger and better. She has grown and transformed in amazing ways and she has emerged from her cocoon like a beautiful butterfly.

When she runs to us, my heart is full of Joy!
She knows and trusts she is ours and we are hers!

There is a time of taking flight ahead of us too. A time where we can literally emerge from our homes and the restrictions placed on us and go back into the world. And when we do so, we will come out totally transformed with renewed spirits & trust in our Father. I don’t think it’s an accident that this time of cocooning is during the Spring when new life literally surrounds us. Resurrection Day is a comin’ soon. 

But before we spread our wings, we have to grow. We have to “cocoon” with the Lord. To run back to him, and seek Him with all of our heart. And when we run back to Him, HE runs back with outstretched arms rejoicing that His child has come home. When we draw near to Him he PROMISES to draw near to us.

When we run to God, His heart if full of joy!

We are His and He is ours.

P.S. I was reminded by my hubby after writing the blog that we also quarantined

ourselves about 7 years ago when our little NICU baby was born.

We had to keep his little lungs safe during RSV reason. So we also watched church online

and limited our time in the outside world. So we are quarantine experts apparently. Doesn't mean

I particularily enjoy it though! Ha!

And funny thing is we will probably come right out of this Corona Quarantine into

Cocooning with our son whom we are set to adopt this summer! Quarantine is no fun

but His grace is sufficient!