Mrs. Heflin's Adoption Story

“I slept on the cold concrete floor with only a mat for a bed and a thin folded blanket for a pillow. I spent a couple nights there living like the children. As I laid on my mat, I looked across the room and wept. I thought about all the children in the US with comfy fluffy beds, clean pajamas, a night light, and mommy to tuck them in and sing lullabies. I was surrounded by children sleeping alone on the hard floor in their dirty ratty clothes. In the morning, we helped the little ones shower and get dressed. We poured cups of cold water on their heads and washed their hair with a little bar of soap because shampoos are too expensive. Then they just put the same dirty clothes right back on…”  This memory is a journal entry from my time working in an orphanage in India. It is forever engrained in my heart. It is just one of the many threads of my life that God used to lead me toward adoption.

Sampath-an orphan I was dying to take home from India

God has given me many “threads’ as one of my favorite authors Jennie Allen calls them in her book Restless. Threads of my gifts, my passions, my sufferings, and my people that all join together to form this intricate tapestry God is weaving together so beautifully. The individual threads don’t make sense until the tapestry is complete and you can turn it over to see the full picture. I feel like, I have finally caught a glimpse into what this bigger picture may be during this season of my life. And that is the picture of adoption.

One of the consistent threads of my life starting in my teen years, is a burden for orphans and needy children. My heart breaking on the orphanage floor in India is one of many memories. I served in homeless shelters, sponsored children, traveled on mission trips to teach village children, lead VBS at apartment complexes, tutored kids in the inner city. I began my teaching career at a school in a low-income area and cared for my class as if they were my own children. I know that this deep love and compassion is not of my own doing, but comes from the Spirit of Jesus. Jesus who healed the broken and fed the hungry while he walked the earth, A God who himself loved the needy and broken so much that he Suffered and Died for them. That is the very Spirit who gave me compassion for the “least of these.” (Matthew 25:40)

My first class-my first "kids"

Another consistent thread is my unique ability to connect with international people. God began weaving this thread into my life during my time in college when he gave me a few international roommates. I enjoyed learning about their country and trying new foods. I travelled internationally many times, adapting to other cultures. What I saw most in these foreign lands was the need for someone to tell them about a Savior who offers hope and eternal life. I desired to have beautiful feet that would bring them good news! (Romans 10:14) In my young adult years, I began studying missions and started working in International Student Ministry at a local college. It is through this International Student Ministry that I got to know my future husband. Our love for internationals connected us at a deeper level and we both were particularly able to form good bonds with students from Asia.  Today, we continue to serve in this ministry along with our children. As we serve these students, our children are able to develop that same love for other cultures as we share the light of Jesus with them.

Our International Friends who helped connect our hearts

Later into my college years, God began pointing me toward the beauty of adoption, another thread in my tapestry. I saw my aunt and uncle struggle as they poured their heart and soul into raising their three adopted children. I realized that the hope and life they were giving their children was worth the sacrifice.  The first family I had met who adopted from China opened my eyes to the fact that adoption can not only give a child a new identify in a family but that child can also gain a whole new identify in Christ when adopted into a Christian home.  In these last few years my heart has constantly been drawn toward the families around me who were formed through adoption. Especially those families who have adopted from Asia.

My gifts, abilities, and resources are yet more threads God has used to point us toward adoption. As 2 Corinthians 9:11 says, “We have been enriched in every way to be generous in every way.” One major “resource” we have is that of our two sons. God uses our boys to make us lean more on Christ as we learn what it means to parent well and discipline with grace. God has given me the gift and background of teaching in early childhood education. Our family has a homeschooling structure in place that values natural learning opportunities but also incorporates classroom learning. God has given me the ability to learn and assimilate new knowledge quickly. Recently, I have gained a wealth of knowledge about health and nutrition and strive to improve the health of my family through natural ways. I can see how the Lord can use our parenting skills, our homeschooling structure, and our knowledge of healthcare to bless another child. These things, already in place in our family, can bless another child.

The Lord is so faithful and generous to provide for us financially. This last year we were able to move to a larger home in a prime location close to the city but still surrounded by nature. This last year, I was in an auto accident which forced us into purchasing a new car and God provided us with a large minivan. Through these provisions I can see how God has been preparing even the physical space to bless another child.  He has surrounded us with the support of many believers through our church home and their prayers and encouragement are one of our most precious resources for our adoption.

Our home

There is an ugly thread in my tapestry. Ugly, but without it, my tapestry would be left with a gaping hole. That is the thread of my sufferings. My whole life I have dealt with anxiety and fear of man. These last couple of years it manifested itself through health issues such as panic attacks and digestive disorders. In this weakness, I boast because that is where Christ’s power can be made strong in me. (2 Corinthians 12:9) I wouldn’t know him as deeply if it were not for my suffering. It is in my suffering that I have more reason to rejoice and give Him glory for the healing that I have already experienced. It is in this suffering that I am better able to minister to others in those same struggles whether mentally or physically. Perhaps God will give me an adopted child who shares many of these sufferings and I will be well equipped to minister to their needs

The suffering in my health has opened the door to adoption for our family. Both of our sons were born premature, with our youngest needing to spend 5 weeks in the NICU. For the past couple of years I have been working to heal my hypothyroidism, hormone imbalances, high cortisol, and digestive disorders. And God is healing me! I no longer have severe panic attacks and my hormones are beginning to feel balanced. I still have room for more healing and do not feel that my body is at the point where it is able to go through another pregnancy. I am at a point where my heart and emotions are ready to be a new Mom again. Adoption had always been something on my mind to think about for the future, but through this circumstance, it became clear that for our family the time to begin was now.

Our precious NICU baby

We had been discussing the idea of adoption for about a year, but it was during very tough week in August where my health was at one of my weakest moments that the Lord led us to take a huge leap of faith‎ and make our first baby step toward adoption. In my weakest of weeks, where I was fasting from certain foods and feeling nauseous from medication, that He wanted me to say YES to Him and trust Him! The Lord spoke very clearly to me through Isaiah 58 where the Lords compares and contrasts true and false fasting. He says in verses 7-8a, “Is this not the kind of fasting I have chosen… Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear.” I had for so long been using my health as an excuse not to adopt. BUT what if seeking adoption is what I really needed to do FIRST and then the Healing would come as these verses say? I am not relying on adoption itself to heal me, but I see over in over in Scripture when Jesus healed people as a result of their Faith and Obedience. I don’t think it is an accident that during these last couple of months I have felt more energized, healthy and stronger then I have in a long time. He is faithful.

Recently we read the book, Adopted for Life, by Russell Moore. The theology in this book solidified for me the reason that adoption is such a beautiful thing. Adoption displays to the world a picture of how Christ chose us, took us out of despair, sacrificed for us, and gave us his Name-a new identity-as we become a part of His family. (Ephesians 4:1-6, Galatians 4:5-7) No wonder the beauty of adoption drew the attention of my heart so strongly, it is a clear picture of the Gospel. At the same time, I was reading a book for Jennie Allen entitled Anything where she says: “From this point on things are changing. I am living for the moment when I will face you. I want to get to heaven out of breath, having willingly done ANYTHING that you-the God of the universe ask…ANYTHING.” Adoption is my “Anything.”

We take step of obedience because we know God has called us to Adoption. My life has never been the same since being adopted into the family of THE KING. We desire to reflect that same love in an earthly way by bringing a child into our family. The tapestry of my life is slowly unfolding and I see the beautiful picture He has used all me threads to create.

Taiwan