Coming Home

The Adoption process is similar to pregnancy in the fact of feeling like you're going to POP. But it's not my belly about to POP, it's my heart. My heart is full and I am SO ready to bring our girl home. I have her room ready, I have dresses in her closet, I've read the books, done the trainings, and completed the mountains of paperwork. We found out about her sweet life and first saw her precious face about 10 months ago for the first time when we started the matching process. I've traveled the world once already to meet her and can't wait to do it again to bring her home. The waiting is so hard.

BUT NOW...the wait is almost over!! After about a 2 year process, our day is almost here! We get to travel in about a month to bring her home! We will travel in about a month to bring her home. My title as a boy-mom is about to change. Our lives as we know it, our lives that we've been comfortable living as a family of 4 are about to change drastically. But HER life is about to change even more. After almost 3 years of life, our little girl will finally have a family. But she cannot gain a family without losing something first. She will lose her life as she knows it. She will lose her language and culture. She will lose some of the most sweetest and loving caregivers ever. And as joyful as I am that we get to bring her home to our family, a part of me also mourns with her in these losses. But even here I see a reflection of the Gospel in adoption.

We cannot know Jesus and gain a place in His family without Losing our lives first. We must give up our desires, our selfish tendencies, our plans, our everything...but in return we gain LIFE! We gain a family!! And Jesus had to LOSE his OWN LIFE, He lost everything. But HE gained SO much more. HE gained glory. He gained His people. He gained us, His family. While we mourn the loss that Sweet Pea will experience, we also have hope that we can reflect Jesus (at least a little bit) by bringing her into our family. It was such a sad sad day when Jesus died on that cross, but what a Happy Day it was when He washed our sins away.

We love you guys, Thank you for SO much love, support, prayers, and gifts you have given through the past 2 years. God is SO good and SO Faithful. We are thankful to Him for how He has led us and grown our family. Please keep praying for us as we transition our girl into our family. Pray for her in the grieving process as she loses everything. Pray for us to attach to each other quickly and well. Pray for our boys to be patient and gentle with their new little sister. 

Your prayers are the biggest blessing to us!

Much Love!

~B

 

Healing Hands

I recently had the best Doctor's appointment e.v.e.r

I am in Hashimotos REMISSION. The antibodies attacking my thyroid are GONE.

The yeast and bacterial overgrowth in my gut are GONE.

My Stress Hormone, cortisol, which was the source of many anxiety attacks is at an all time LOW.

About 2 years ago, I felt the Lord telling me to take a step of faith and begin the process of an international adoption. I had many hesitations at first. One was my health….

But Lord, my thyroid is still so sluggish…

But Lord, my Gut is a big mess and I have way too many food restrictions to make adopting from a foreign country even feasible..

But Lord, I still suffer from a these nasty anxiety attacks…

BUT GOD spoke to me in Isaiah 58 where God asks his people to care for the needy by feeding, clothing, and providing them shelter and says,

 "Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear.” (Isaiah 58:8a)

Then your healing will quickly appear...

We said Yes to adoption and began the process with full expectancy that in due time God would heal me. But still knowing that even if He chose not to, that His grace would be sufficient for me.

But He HAS!! Ya'll, HE is healed!! He is SO Faithful.

And just in time….

In February, we took our first trip to Taiwan to attend court and meet our little girl.  I felt energized. My food restrictions were very do-able. My anxiety was there, but very controllable. It was a nerve-racking trip of course, but God provided the calming manna I needed with each step of the trip.

And in just a few months we will bring our girl home.

He is Faithful even in the timing.

The healing process has been long and hard road for me. It's been about 3.5 years from the time I really got into Functional/Natural Medicine and really started changing my lifestyle. I wish I could say that there was a magic-pill that fixed everything. One special diet or supplement. But it's not so simple.

But what I do think, is that God most often brings healing when you put good things from His creation into your body. God values our physical body-He created us as fleshly beings and even took on Flesh Himself in the form of Jesus. There is no doubt that in His Fatherly love for us, He created so many things to help us in our human fleshly suffering.

Good pure food.

Healing Herbs.

Good bacteria.

Natural Medicine.

Like a seed, these are the things that I planted in my body. But it is only the Lord that has power to make things grow. These are the things He used to heal my human flesh. And through it all, he has refined my Spirit more and more to Trust Him.

He's not done yet.  I'm still not in a perfect place. I still have some work to do on my gut. I still have many food restrictions. I still get some acne. My anxiety will always be a thorn in my flesh. I still try to avoid my anxiety triggers. But He has brought me SO far.

And through it all I have become educated. I've become an advocate for my own health and the health of my family. I can use my own experience to bless others and guide them on their health journey, including my soon-to-be daughter!

A few years ago, I wrote a blog about some things that helped me physically, emotionally, and spiritually through a tough season of anxiety. Here, I wanted to share a few things that have been most helpful to me more recently. (And no, I don't get paid for these recommendations!)

This all may seem like a lot of time effort and energy. But you have to remember that I went through these in a course of a few years. I took baby steps. Before implementing the list below, I had aIready taken other baby steps like cutting out processed foods, limiting sugar, and going Gluten Free. I know I'm writing to an audience on various journeys on their health. My advice to you is to just take baby steps, and eventually you will look back and say, Wow! Look how far I've come! Look at what God has done!

Gut Thrive- Ok, this one is for the REALLY desperate people who want to heal their gut. The program is pricey and the program is hard-core. Think of it as a college course on the gut and a boot camp all at the same time. It was the key to me killing these super resistant pathogens in my gut and healing and sealing my gut. Plus, the level of knowledge I received is so invaluable because now I can apply it to the rest of my family. But I know Gut Thrive is not for everyone, but I DO think EVERYONE in the US needs to do some heavy duty work on their gut. Working with a Functional Medicine Doctor on this can be super helpful but here is a good place just for info: 4 Steps to Healing Leaky Gut

From the Gut Thrive Program, I learned about my 2 most Favorite Supplements:

Desiccated Beef Liver gives me so much energy! (and don't worry you can get it in a pill) It naturally has high amounts of vitamin A, iron and B vitamins that I really need with my MTHFR gene.

Colostrum-(from cows or goats) There are so many benefits to this liquid gold. For me it helped to seal up my leaky gut and get my immune system back in order. A superimportant one!

The AIP diet. -probably THE hardest diet ever. But so helpful for anyone with an autoimmune disease! The book was great for a biology/anatomy nerd like me, because she shows you exactly how these offending foods can trigger autoimmune disease. It made me much more motivated to implement it. But it's not a forever diet, once you start improving you get to add many of the restricted foods back in. I was on this diet for a year, but am now enjoying many of the restricted foods again.  I think this diet is a big part of my Hashimotos reversal.

I am at a place where I feel I can relax more in regards to my health. I'm not going through any of these crazy programs or diets anymore, but the principles I learned from them have become just a normal integrated way of life. I am so thankful for the God who Heals. For a God who teaches. For a God who provides. Whose power has been displayed through my weaknesses. It is in His power I boast.

When you can't hold your baby...

I kiss my phone a lot. Yeah I know phones are germy., and now mine is even more so..but HER photo is there as the background wallpaper image.

Every time I see her photo my heart feels a bit of a thrill and a bit of an ache. I am so thrilled that God has answered our prayers with this precious little girl. But my heart aches because I just long to hold her. There is something about holding a child that bring a sense of belonging for both the child and the parent. A sense of security. A sense of closeness. And I want this so bad with her. She is just so precious to me and I don't even know her yet. 

I had this same ache to hold my 2nd born when he was born prematurely and the Doctor's whisked him away in a plastic box at birth rather then letting me hold him close for the skin to skin precious bonding time. I had to wait a day to hold him. I had to wait a month to hold him without tubes in the way. That wait...that wait was tough but different...

This time she is across the ocean and I am faced with many many more months of waiting as we finish meeting the legal requirements. And then waiting probably several weeks or months for her to even recognize me as Mom. For what comfort is there in being held by a stranger? I'm waiting to scoop her up in my arms and enjoy the fact that she KNOWS me!. To hold her as I wipe away her tears. To hold her when she wants to read a bedtime story. To hold her just because I am her Mom and I love her so. 

I have past blogs (and here) on how our Motherhood (and Fatherhood) can give us a glimpse to the heart of God as our Father. God our Father longs to Hold us too.

He has already crossed oceans and moved Mountains to for us. He has already met the legal requirements for us to belong to Him. But it's not the ocean and a bunch of paperwork that stop God from holding us.

For some, it is because they do not yet recognize Him as their Loving Father. Why would you want to be held by a stranger?

But even those who do know him as Father can refuse to be held by Him. He has made us, he has rescued  us, and He wants to carry us and sustain us. But somehow, even though his arms are nearby waiting to hold us, we fight them. We rely on our own weak arms to carry ourselves. We run to the distraction of technology to comfort us, rather then His arms. (I'm preaching to myself here). We are afraid of letting Him hold us because we're afraid he will be angry about the mess we have made of our lives. We are too busy to just sit and enjoy being with him because HE loves us and we are His.

Or, like my premmie baby with tubes, there are too many physical ailments, maybe anxiety of depression, that inhibit us from truly feeling His arms even though we know they are there. (but that is whole other blog)

I LONG to hold my baby. I LONG for her to know me as Momma. The Waiting is SO hard. But for now I find comfort in the God who I know is already holding her and is holding me too. But I have to let Him. He is SO ready.

Don't Fight the Hands Holding You

2017 Happenings

2017 was a year of preparation and growth for our family. 

Our family is preparing to grow as we near the final stages of the adoption process.

Our days and hours were filled with paperwork, fundraisers, anticipation, and prayers.  

The journey is tedious and long, but we TRUST it will be SO worth it. 

Our boys are growing more each day preparing to be men of God. 

Our days and hours are filled with messes, noise, and discipline.

The journey is exhausting, but we TRUST it is SO worth it.

Our own hearts are growing closer to Jesus and we prepare to be Like Him.

Our days are hours are filled with building our marriage, refining our parenting, 

and trusting Him with our anxieties. 

The journey seems impossible, but we TRUST that NOTHING is impossible with Him, 

and it is SO worth it.

It is all SO worth it. Just take a look as these blessings:

Our bigger boy.  If you know him at all, you know that God has gifted him with enormous amounts of energy. His days are filled funneling this energy into bike rides, lego buildings, art projects, and of course wrestling. He's so curious and asks MANY questions a day and stores it all in his photographic memory. This year in particular, he was really curious about the things of heaven and the spiritual forces around us. What a privilege and challenge God has given us in molding these little hearts! He went from K to 1st grade this year. He continues to take some classes at a part time private school while we homeschool the majority of his education. He is reading more and more on his own (including all restaurant ads on the road.) His mental math is quick and knowledge of geography is impressive! He has enjoyed soccer, singing in the church choir, and classes at the art museum.  Though he's never seen the movies, he's really into Star Wars.

Our big boy. This 5 year old has really blossomed into a full grown big kid!  He is writing his name and lots of other letters. His personality is more quiet and calm, but his brother sure can bring out a rough, tough and giggly side of his personality. He is beginning to lead their play time with his BIG imagination and creative ideas. He still enjoys cuddling with Mommy (and she enjoys it too) and lots of hugs and kisses! His favorite Bible Story is "David and Goliath" and song is"Away in a Manger," now matter the time of year.   He has an extensive knowledge of habitats and animals which he learned from zoo preschool in the spring and museum preschool this past fall. Growing caterpillars into butterflies at home was his favorite project! He learned how to ride a bike on his own and now keeps up with us on the Trinity Trails. He has also enjoyed soccer and singing in the church choir for the first time this year! He's really into Superheros. 

Our little girl. This year we were matched with Sweet Pea! (This is her nickname for now.) I am constantly humbled and grateful that God would choose us to be her family. We get to see how well our 2 year old is growing and developing with each monthly report and updated photos. This year she learned to walk (and is now running around), to use crayons, and she loves to dance and sing! In November, we got to send her a care package with a photo album of us, a recordable story book of our voices and a "little sister" onesie. What a joy it was to see photos of her opening her package, being excited about the book, and wearing that onesie!  This coming year, we hope to travel to Taiwan to officially meet her, complete our adoption, and bring her home! These upcoming months we will truly prepare for her arrival.

The Mr.  This year he could often be seen riding bikes on the trails, wrestling with his boys, and cooking pancakes on the weekends. He had the honor of serving as a deacon at our church. He's enjoyed building relationships with the men in our home group Bible study. For two weeks this summer we hosted an intern from China in our home. B was able to bond with him and have some wonderful conversations.  

He had quite a year of change at the engineering firm. He managed several teams to complete projects and served as a resource for another office. Toward the end of the year he has taken additional responsibility in helping to manage the mechanical group.  As the new year starts, please continue to pray for these challenges as he balances the new roles and family life. His favorite part of his job is the people he works with. He loves teaching and training up new engineers and serving in the mentor role. 

The Mrs. This has been a FULL year for me! I wore many hats on top of my wife and mom hat which is worn 24/7 (and in need of constant refining!)

There is my Homeschool Mom hat. We focus on learning activities at home 2-3 days a week, but of course learning can be found in many other un-focused moments too! I've particularly enjoyed going through a curriculum called "Five-in-a-Row," which focuses on using quality children's literature as a spring board for learning other subjects such as science and art. It's amazing the information that sticks when tied to a story!

The days the boys went to school, I would often put on my "Part-time Job" hat. Delving deep into the adoption paperwork and planning fundraisers is truly a part time job! God provided the resources, organizational skills, and diligence I needed to get so many things done this year for our adoption. (More details on the adoption process later in the blog..)

My other hat this year (and many years prior to this)is that of a "health coach" to my family. I am constantly learning the best way to care for our health is the ways that God intended. Natural whole foods, healing herbs, and homeopathy have been my go-to's this year as the resources from God. This year I have felt so healthy and strong. My anxiety issues will always be a thorn in my flesh, but it is a thorn that God has given me the ability to control through these resources. My gut issues and thyroid issues continue to show improvement, (slowly but surely) and I hope to expand my diet this upcoming year!

This summer I was a part of a women's book study at our church about anxiety. The author talked alot about Manna. About taking God's provision for the given moment and trusting him to provide the Manna needed for the next moment. Truly "only worrying about today because tomorrow has enough trouble of it's own." This idea is the only way I could of gotten through this year and have the ability to wear all those hats without them falling off and losing them (and my mind) along with them. Trusting him moment by moment for the Manna I need.

Our Extended Family. We are blessed to live only an hour away from both sides of our family. We drive to their side of town often (and they come to the west side) for birthdays, holidays, or free babysitting!

We had lots of fun outings this year with the Heflin side of the family. We had trips to Granbury beach, the Arboretum, the Perot museum, among other places. We enjoyed receiving the many postcards they sent from the states visited. The boys especially enjoy occasional nights they get to spend at Nana and Ron Bob's house where they eat butterflies  for breakfast. We are especially thankful for the quality photographs and videos provided by Ron-Bob, a retired news photographer!




The summer was filled with fun trips! In June, the boys had a wild time with my Mom and their cousins camping at Jellystone Park with Yogi Bear. (It was nice to have a quiet weekend at home!) In July all of us went down to Galveston and spent a week relaxing in a beach house, jumping in the waves, and seeing dolphins on the ferry ride. The boys keep asking about going back to Galveston, I agree!

This fall, B and the boys got to take a SUPER special road trip and camping trip along with my Dad and Papa. For 40+ years, my Papa and the men in his family have been taking a camping trip to the mountains of Arizona. There they ate like kings, hiked up mountains, and played with new cousins just their size! My boys and hubby had so much fun being a part of this special tradition!

Our adoption process. We've been in the adoption process about  1.5 years and have now completed every bit of paperwork needed to submit to the courts in Taiwan! We started out the year editing our homestudy and putting together a photo album displaying what our home and family is like. When we asked to be matched to Sweet Pea, we had to answer lots of tough questions about parenting and family life. Once we were approved, we put together our dossier which is a big set of super important papers that will be sent to court. These documents had to be authenticated by the Secretary of State and the Taiwanese Embassy! Whew! What a job!

God graciously provided all we needed just in time to pay all the final adoption fees! Our adoption puzzle is complete!  We knew that God did not want us to go at this journey alone and that he would provide a Village to be our partner and share in our adoption story. Through the year we ran various fundraisers to give others the chance to be a part. We were amazed at all the support we've received! From our HUGE garage sales in the spring, to our BIG online silent auction this past fall, and the sunshine shirts, coffee sales, Easter crafts, and funky socks in between; we were busy! I especially loved partnering with ministries in Haiti and Uganda these past two Christmas seasons to sell their beautiful items and in turn support their ministry. All in all these fundraisers brought in about $10,000 and the love and support of so many friends and family! We also received a HUGE grant and matching grant from our church through a tax-deductible ABBA fund. This brought in another $10,000+! We are happy to report that all of our fees are paid in full and documents can now be submitted to court! We will still need to pay for our travel expenses, so if you would like to be a part, the links above are still active fundraisers anyone is welcome to still participate in. We are so thankful and amazed at the Village HE provided!!

2017. Our year of preparation and growth. 

How did you grow this year?

What is God preparing you for?

.....The only way to grow is to TRUST.

Oh, for Grace to Trust Him more..

It's a Match!!!

It was 8:30 on a morning in July when I glanced at my phone and saw a missed call and a voice message from a 347-area code."New York?...Oh my gosh, I think this is Mary, our caseworker!" At this point in the process any call from her left me on the edge of my seat! (Why I never saved her number in my phone, I'll never know!) I ran out to the end of our driveway praying all the way for my cell phone to work and not drop the call as I pushed the callback button. (We live in a valley with awful cell service.) Much to my surprise, the call never dropped, and our case worker told us there was a 2 year old girl, one already waiting for a family, that she recommend us consider adopting. This was even before we had officially been "approved" by the government in Taiwan to adopt.  And we already had a promising file to read through! And a sweet toddler girl! My heart was thrilled! 

Taiwan has an amazing adoption program, where unlike many other countries, we have details of the child's past. We had every hospital record, a doctor's note about every sickness, the history of the birth family, and how the need for adoption was determined. Also, our agency has a special program called "Superkids" that sends child development specialists and adoption advocates twice a year to visit the waiting children, determine their needs, and take lots of photos and videos of the children. We were so blessed to see so many professional photos and videos from this team! 

Needless to say we had a lot to review! So we read all through her files, looked through some videos and photos to see how she is developing (trying not to be too swayed by the cuteness factor), talked to our pediatrician, asked close friends for prayers, and prayed ourselves. After reviewing her file for a week, we pushed the YES button.We were honored that we could even be considered for such a precious little girl!

Then it came time for the Agency in Taiwan to review us. And so the wait began. They reviewed our Homestudy and after 2 weeks sent us a looooong list of detailed questions. Tough questions like, "Tell me about your parenting and discipline style," and "How will you meet the developmental needs of all three children in your home since they are all different ages?" "What would you do if situation A or B occurred.." We spent many late nights working on these questions because we had to email them back within the week. Then we waited 3 more weeks. Yes Adoption requires Waiting...Lots of Waiting...

Then finally...the morning of August 22nd I saw another missed call and voicemail from our caseworker. I listened to the voicemail of our caseworker saying, "I have good news, Call me back!" My heart started pounding and I got all giddy and excited dancing around the kitchen. This time, I gathered the kids into the minivan as quick as I could and drove up the hill to a nearby park where I usually make my important phone calls. Sure enough, we were MATCHED!! Officially MATCHED!! With this precious little one:

Oh how I wish I could show you her whole face! Her eyes are so sparkly and her smile just melts your heart. We are required to wait to share online photos of her full face until the adoption is complete. This point in the process is officially called a referral. She is not ours yet, she is our HOPEFUL ours. The adoption agency is referring the Taiwan government to us to be her family. Of course, with all adoptions there is always a possibility of an another outcome than us adopting this child.  As our paper pregnancy continues we expect to bring her in to our family in about 7-8 months. Yep, 7-8 months...more waiting.

Immigration and court paperwork are the immediate next steps. In the next 2-3 weeks, the final payment to the adoption agency is due with these documents. God has provided so generously!! Only $3,000 is left of our $25,000 adoption fees (not including travel)!  If you feel so led, there are a few ways you can help us financially : 

Tax deductible donations to:
Tax Deductible ABBA fund

Through fundraiser purchases:
Ammasumma.org Fair trade and beautiful clothing & accessories. (Enter code HEFLINADOPTION at checkout and 50% will be donated to our family.)

Funky Socks
Sunshine Shirts

Mama Bird Shirts

Fair Trade Coffee

Please continue to pray for us as we enter these next stages of waiting and preparing. As we receive updated photos and reports, the adoption is feeling more real. Our boys were excited to send a care package to her recently and like seeing her photos hung in the living room. Pray for their transition to being big brothers to a little girl. Please pray for us as we plan our travel to Taiwan and for her arrival and transition to our home. Please pray for our hearts to focus on Jesus and to trust Him every step of the way.

She will be: